A free tool from JoyPath · SASHETS
The Heart to Heart Check-in
A simple map for knowing what is stirring within, and a fifteen-minute rhythm for sharing it with the one beside you. Emotions are powerful motivators whether we acknowledge them or ignore them. When we name what is rising in us, we honor how God designed us, and unlock the door to what we truly need.
Free printables: SASHETS infographic (PDF) Heart to Heart Check-in guide (PDF)
Part I · The map
SASHETS: the seven emotions
Sad, Angry, Scared, Happy, Excited, Tender, Shame. Each one is a messenger, not a problem, and each one is love longing for something. Open any of the seven to find your words.
SSad
Something mattered, and was lost
- Low energy
- beaten down, exhausted, tired, weak, listless, depressed, detached, withdrawn, indifferent, apathetic, lazy, bored
- Sad
- unhappy, crushed, dejected, desperate, hopeless, grieved, heavy, despairing, weepy
- Betrayed & disappointed
- deceived, disillusioned, distrustful, let down, disheartened
- Invisible
- forgotten, overlooked, unimportant, disregarded, lost
- Rejected
- hated, detested, unwanted, unloved, cast aside, forsaken, alone
- Hopeless despair
- given up, defeated, resigned, numb, empty, doneThe floor of sadness: I no longer believe things can be good again.
Sadness is love missing what it treasures. It longs to be comforted, and for what was precious to be honored.
AAngry
Something wasn't honored
- Angry
- annoyed, controlled, manipulated, furious, grouchy, grumpy, irritated, provoked, frustrated, hateful, cold, icy, bitter, cynical
- Disgust
- repulsed, sickened, revolted, contempt, put off, grossed outA cousin of anger: this is not lifegiving; I want it away from me.
Anger says "make it stop"; it rises to guard something tender, a value, a limit, a hurt. Both are signals that joy is under threat. The gentle question is not "why am I so angry?" but "what am I protecting?"
Anger is love standing guard over something precious. It longs for what matters to be honored and made right.
SScared
Something feels threatening
- Anxious
- afraid, uneasy, nauseated, nervous, restless, preoccupied, worried, tense, fearful, terrified, insecure, indecisive, hyper-vigilant, cautious
- Overwhelmed
- apprehensive, boxed in, burdened, confused, distressed, guarded, hard-pressed, paralyzed, panicky, weighted down, edgy
- Traumatized
- shocked, disturbed, injured, damaged, hated
- Confused
- baffled, perplexed, mystified, bewildered, misunderstood, disoriented
Fear is love bracing to protect what it cannot bear to lose. It longs for safety, and a presence bigger than the threat.
HHappy
Something good is here
- Happy
- cheerful, delighted, elated, encouraged, glad, gratified, joyful, light-hearted, overjoyed, pleased, relieved, satisfied, thrilled, secure, optimistic
- Confident
- positive, secure, self-assured, assertive
- Peaceful
- relieved, at ease, calm, comforted, cool, relaxed, composed, protected
Happiness is love receiving what is good. It longs to savor the gift and share the joy.
EExcited
Something is rising in me
- High energy
- energetic, enthusiastic, playful, rejuvenated, talkative, pumped, motivated, driven, determined, obsessed, jittery
- Amazed
- stunned, surprised, shocked, jolted, enlightened
Excitement is love leaning toward what is coming. It longs for hope to be shared and fulfilled.
TTender
The heart is soft and open
- Loving
- affectionate, cozy, passionate, romantic, warm, tender, responsive, thankful, appreciative, refreshed, pleased, comforted, reassured
- Alone
- avoidant, lonely, abandoned, deserted, isolated, cut off, detached, disconnected, unwanted
Tenderness is love drawing near with open hands. It longs for closeness, to give and receive without walls.
SShame
Our joy has dropped
- Ashamed
- embarrassed, self-conscious, foolish, small, exposed, humiliated, mortified
Shame says "hang your head"; it is the signal that joy has dipped between us, not a verdict on who you are. The way back is not to hide or try harder, but to be met and welcomed, and glad again: the return to joy.
Shame is love hiding its face, afraid it is no longer wanted. It longs to be seen, welcomed, and glad together again.
Part II · Noticing
How to check in with your heart
One quiet minute. The body speaks before words; this is how you listen.
1
Pause and feel the bodyStop and notice. A tight chest, a warm face, a knot in the stomach, a lightness.
2
Follow it to a feelingAsk what those sensations might be pointing to. Which of the seven is stirring? Often it is more than one at once.
3
Name it plainlyPut words to it, out loud if you can. "Peaceful yet sad." "Tender and a little scared."
Give your heart words · tap up to two
"Right now, I am checking in as feeling _____, and that makes sense because love is longing _____."
Emotions rarely arrive alone. Your two will be waiting for you in Part III.
What you can name, you can tame.
Part III · Together
The Heart to Heart Check-in
I invite you to cherish this time together and embrace the richness of the connection. Can you sense the joy of journeying together?
Keep it short and sweet. Unless you have already planned a longer time together, honor the fifteen-minute timeframe to create a joy-bonding experience rather than overwhelming one another. After the check-in, if you want to talk more, honor one another by asking permission. Receive only what you can, and feel free to say no.
The rhythm at a glance · minutes
GreetNoticingShareListening prayerDebriefTakeaway
Do it together, right now
The guided fifteen-minute check-in
Set this between you on a phone. The page keeps the time and tells you what each step is for, so you can keep your hearts on each other.
Greet
1:00
Well done. May you sense the joy of journeying together.
Greet
1 min- Take a moment to say hello and acknowledge your presence together
Noticing
1 min · silent- Take a breath and find quiet
- Notice, "How is my heart? What is alive in me?"
- Check in on your heart with SASHETS choosing two emotions you sense are present, and noticing why they may be coming center stage
Share
4 min · 2 each- Take turns sharing what you noticed during your check-in with self
- After each share, the listener attunes by reflecting back what they heard
Listening prayer
5 min · silent- Meditate on the details of an appreciation memory or a moment that brought peace; thank God for the memory
- Notice if you can sense Immanuel's presence
- Share your check-in with Immanuel and notice what He has for you
- Notice any SIFT sensations, images, feelings, thoughts
- Ask Immanuel: "What do you have for me here around this?" and "What else?" Continue to notice and ask.
Debrief
4 min · 2 each- Come back together when the five minutes are up
- Share what came up during your Immanuel prayer time
- After each share, the listener attunes by reflecting back
Takeaway
1 min · 30 sec each- Pause to silently notice what seemed significant during this session
- Share just a sentence or two about what you are taking away
- After each share, the listener attunes by reflecting back
RememberThis practice together creates a sacred space for connection, both with each other and with Immanuel's presence. Honor the process, honor each other, and honor the insights that emerge.
When discerning if something is from God, ask whether it aligns with Scripture, brings you peace or relief, and is confirmed by your community as sounding like God.
May you sense the joy of journeying together.
Along the way
Pointers and pitfalls
PointersHonoring what is here
- Name two at a time. Emotions rarely arrive alone. "Peaceful yet sad" is honest.
- Notice the body. Where does the feeling live? What is it asking you to hear?
- Honor the signal. Each emotion is a messenger, not a problem.
- Bring shame into the light. Being seen by someone safe is what dismantles it.
- Invite Immanuel. "Lord, what do You want me to know about my heart right now?"
PitfallsWhat silences the heart
- Dismissing. "I shouldn't feel this." The feeling goes underground.
- Masking. Saying "fine" when we are anything but.
- Numbing. Scroll, snack, stay busy, anything but feel.
- Hiding. "If they knew..." Shame's whisper starves the healing.
- Diagnosing. Skipping past the feeling to explain or fix it.
Go deeper
"Ask for the ancient paths... and you will find rest for your souls."
Jeremiah 6:16
Take it with you: SASHETS infographic (PDF) Heart to Heart Check-in guide (PDF)
Walk it with company
A practice is easier to keep with someone beside you.
The check-in is yours to use as often as you like. If you would like help making it a rhythm at home, a free fifteen-minute call is a gentle place to start.