Sad · Angry · Scared · Happy · Excited · Tender · Shame
A simple map for knowing what is stirring within
Emotions are powerful motivators, whether we acknowledge them or ignore them. When we name what is rising in us, we honor how God designed us, and unlock the door to what we truly need.
Begin with the seven
Low Energy: beaten down, exhausted, tired, weak, listless, depressed, detached, withdrawn, indifferent, apathetic, lazy, bored
Sad: unhappy, crushed, dejected, desperate, hopeless, grieved, heavy, despairing, weepy
Betrayed & Disappointed: deceived, disillusioned, distrustful, let down, disheartened
Invisible: forgotten, overlooked, unimportant, disregarded, lost
Rejected: hated, detested, unwanted, unloved, cast aside, forsaken, alone
Hopeless despair: given up, defeated, resigned, numb, empty, done.
The floor of sadness: I no longer believe things can be good again.
Love's Longing
Sadness is love missing what it treasures. It longs to be comforted, and for what was precious to be honored.
Angry: annoyed, controlled, manipulated, furious, grouchy, grumpy, irritated, provoked, frustrated, hateful, cold, icy, bitter, cynical
Disgust: repulsed, sickened, revolted, contempt, put off, grossed out.
A cousin of anger: this is not lifegiving; I want it away from me.
Listen Underneath
Anger says "make it stop"; it rises to guard something tender, a value, a limit, a hurt. Both are signals that joy is under threat. The gentle question is not "why am I so angry?" but "what am I protecting?"
Love's Longing
Anger is love standing guard over something precious. It longs for what matters to be honored and made right.
Anxious: afraid, uneasy, nauseated, nervous, restless, preoccupied, worried, tense, fearful, terrified, insecure, indecisive, hyper-vigilant, cautious
Overwhelmed: apprehensive, boxed in, burdened, confused, distressed, guarded, hard-pressed, paralyzed, panicky, weighted down, edgy
Traumatized: shocked, disturbed, injured, damaged, hated
Confused: baffled, perplexed, mystified, bewildered, misunderstood, disoriented
Love's Longing
Fear is love bracing to protect what it cannot bear to lose. It longs for safety, and a presence bigger than the threat.
Happy: cheerful, delighted, elated, encouraged, glad, gratified, joyful, light-hearted, overjoyed, pleased, relieved, satisfied, thrilled, secure, optimistic
Confident: positive, secure, self-assured, assertive
Peaceful: relieved, at ease, calm, comforted, cool, relaxed, composed, protected
Love's Longing
Happiness is love receiving what is good. It longs to savor the gift and share the joy.
High Energy: energetic, enthusiastic, playful, rejuvenated, talkative, pumped, motivated, driven, determined, obsessed, jittery
Amazed: stunned, surprised, shocked, jolted, enlightened
Love's Longing
Excitement is love leaning toward what is coming. It longs for hope to be shared and fulfilled.
Loving: affectionate, cozy, passionate, romantic, warm, tender, responsive, thankful, appreciative, refreshed, pleased, comforted, reassured
Alone: avoidant, lonely, abandoned, deserted, isolated, cut off, detached, disconnected, unwanted
Love's Longing
Tenderness is love drawing near with open hands. It longs for closeness, to give and receive without walls.
Ashamed: embarrassed, self-conscious, foolish, small, exposed, humiliated, mortified
Listen Underneath
Shame says "hang your head"; it is the signal that joy has dipped between us, not a verdict on who you are. The way back is not to hide or try harder, but to be met and welcomed, and glad again: the return to joy.
Love's Longing
Shame is love hiding its face, afraid it is no longer wanted. It longs to be seen, welcomed, and glad together again.
The Practice
How to check in with your heart
1
Pause & feel the body
Stop and notice. A tight chest, a warm face, a knot in the stomach, a lightness. The body speaks before words.
2
Follow it to a feeling
Ask what those sensations might be pointing to. Which of the seven is stirring? Often it is more than one at once.
3
Name it plainly
Put words to it, out loud if you can. "Peaceful yet sad." "Tender and a little scared."
An Invitation · Give Your Heart Words
"Right now, I am checking in as feeling _____, and that makes sense because love is longing _____."
Tap up to two. Emotions rarely arrive alone. A starting place: let your own longing find its words.
What you can name, you can tame.
A Practice for Journeying Together
The Heart to Heart Check-in
Once you can name what is stirring within, this is how you share it with one another.
I invite you to cherish this time together and embrace the richness of the connection. Can you sense the joy of journeying together?
15-Minute Check-In Process
Keep It Short and Sweet: Unless you have already planned a longer time together, honor the 15-minute timeframe to create a joy-bonding experience rather than overwhelming one another. After the check-in, if you want to talk more, honor one another by asking permission. Receive only what you can, and feel free to say no.
The rhythm at a glance
Greet
Noticing
Share
Listening Prayer
Debrief
Takeaway
Do It Together, Right Now
Guided 15-minute check-in
Open this on a phone between you. The page will keep the time so you can keep your hearts on each other.
Greet
1:00
May you sense the joy of journeying together.
1
Greet
1 min- Take a moment to say hello and acknowledge your presence together
2
Noticing
Check-in with self 1 min (silent)- Take a breath and find quiet
- Notice, "How is my heart? What is alive in me?"
- Consider checking in on your heart using SASHETS Sad, Angry, Scared, Happy, Excited, Tender, Shame (choosing two emotions you sense are present and noticing why they may be coming center stage)
3
Share
4 min (2 min each)- Take turns sharing what you noticed during your check-in with self
- After each share, listener attunes by reflecting back what they heard
4
Listening Prayer
5 min (silent)- Meditate on details of an appreciation memory or a moment that brought peace; thank God for the memory
- Notice if you can sense Immanuel's presence
- Share your check-in with Immanuel and notice what He has for you
- Notice any SIFT Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts
- Ask Immanuel: "What do you have for me here around this?" and "What else?" Continue to notice and ask.
5
Debrief
4 min (2 min each)- Come back together when the 5 minutes are up
- Share what came up during your Immanuel prayer time
- After each share, listener attunes by reflecting back
6
Takeaway
1 min (30 sec each)- Pause to silently notice what seemed significant during this session
- Share just a sentence or two about what you're taking away
- After each share, listener attunes by reflecting back
Remember
This practice together creates a sacred space for connection, both with each other and with Immanuel's presence. Honor the process, honor each other, and honor the insights that emerge.
When discerning if something is from God, ask whether it aligns with scripture, brings you peace or relief, and is confirmed by your community as sounding like God.
May you sense the joy of journeying together.
Pointers Honoring What Is Here
- Name two at a time. Emotions rarely arrive alone. "Peaceful yet sad" is honest.
- Notice the body. Where does the feeling live? What is it asking you to hear?
- Honor the signal. Each emotion is a messenger, not a problem.
- Bring shame into the light. Being seen by someone safe is what dismantles it.
- Invite Immanuel. "Lord, what do You want me to know about my heart right now?"
Pitfalls What Silences the Heart
- Dismissing. "I shouldn't feel this." The feeling goes underground.
- Masking. Saying "fine" when we are anything but.
- Numbing. Scroll, snack, stay busy, anything but feel.
- Hiding. "If they knew..." Shame's whisper starves the healing.
- Diagnosing. Skipping past the feeling to explain or fix it.
Go Deeper
"Ask for the ancient paths... and you will find rest for your souls." Jeremiah 6:16