The Breaking Point
I was drowning, though no one could see it.
It was a Tuesday evening like any other. Dinner plates cleared, children’s homework supervised, lunches packed for tomorrow. I stood at the kitchen sink, mechanically washing a coffee mug, when something inside me simply… cracked.
The tears came without warning. Silent at first, then building to shoulders that wouldn’t stop shaking. My husband found me there, clutching the countertop, unable to explain what was happening.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, alarmed. “What can I fix?”
That was just it. Nothing was wrong…not in any way he could fix. I had a loving family, meaningful work, a comfortable home. I was doing everything right: showing up for everyone, meeting every need, never complaining. I’d even stopped trying to control my husband’s schedule and parenting style (something I’d worked on for months in my personal growth journey).
Yet here I was, coming undone over dirty dishes.
“I feel lost,” I whispered.
That kitchen breakdown became my reluctant doorway into a discovery that would transform not just my marriage but many relationship in my life. What I learned in the months that followed was both embarrassingly simple and profoundly revolutionary:
You cannot give what you do not have. And you cannot find yourself in other people’s approval.
The journey back to myself, what I now call soul renewal, didn’t happen through another communication technique or relationship strategy. It happened through rediscovering the forgotten art of returning to my own center before attempting to connect with anyone else.
What I’ve witnessed since, both in my own life and with JoyPath clients, is that soul renewal isn’t just another self-care trend. It’s the missing foundation that makes everything else possible. When we approach our relationships from a place of inner fullness rather than desperate emptiness, something miraculous happens. The very connection we’ve been chasing suddenly appears. Yet not because we’ve figured out how to extract it from others, but because we’ve become magnetic in our own wholeness.
This is your invitation to come home to yourself.
The Science of Depletion (And Why Your Brain is Begging for Renewal)
Picture your brain as a magnificent mansion with many rooms. There’s the deep basement where primal emotions and survival instincts reside. There’s the living room where you connect with others. There’s the observatory where you can see the big picture of your life with clarity and perspective.
When you’re depleted, running on emotional and physical fumes, something alarming happens: the lights go out in the upper rooms. Your brain literally redirects blood flow and energy away from the regions responsible for empathy, creativity, and wise decision-making. You become trapped in the basement, where everything feels threatening and everyone looks like an enemy.
This isn’t metaphorical; it’s neurological fact.
Dr. Richard Davidson’s laboratory at the University of Wisconsin has captured this process in real time through brain imaging. When we’re chronically stressed, our prefrontal cortex, the brain’s “wise leader”and one’s true self, shows decreased activity and connectivity. Meanwhile, our amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, becomes hypervigilant, triggering cascades of stress hormones at the slightest provocation. Some of us can live from here our whole lives! But there is another way!
Jason, a contractor with a reputation for being “tough as nails,” sat across from me in our first JoyPath session, skepticism etched across his face. His wife had practically pushed him through the door.
“Look,” he said, leaning forward, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t need to ‘find myself’ or whatever. I need my wife to stop being so emotional about everything. I work sixty hours a week so she can stay home with the kids. I’m home for dinner most nights. What more does she want?”
“I wonder if you can share what you want for yourself?” I asked.
“She says I’m ‘not there.’ Whatever that means.” His voice dripped with frustration.
“How do you feel? Do you feel “there”?”
He stared at me, then out the window. For a moment, the mask of irritation slipped, revealing something tender underneath.
“I don’t know how to be,” he said finally. “By the time I get home, I’ve got nothing left.”
That raw confession became our starting point. I invited Jason to think about the last time he’d felt genuinely at peace, not just zoning out, but truly at rest in himself.
“Fishing,” he said after a long pause. “Used to go with my dad before he died. Standing in the stream, nobody talking… just the sound of water and the rhythm of casting.” His voice had softened, and for the first time, I saw the man beneath the armor.
“What if,” I suggested, “you could find that feeling again, for Even just for five minutes a day?”
Jason looked dubious but agreed to a simple experiment: he chose to experiment with renewing his soul. Each morning, before checking his phone or waking the kids, he would sit on his back porch with a cup of coffee. No agenda. No problem-solving. Just five minutes of noticing: the birds at the feeder, the morning light, the sensation of the mug’s warmth in his hands. At lunch and after work, he found similar pauses to refill with.
Three weeks later, Jason walked into our session a different man. His posture had softened. His eyes held a glint of life I hadn’t seen before.
“My wife asked what was wrong with me,” he said with the hint of a smile. “Said I seem… different.”
“And do you feel different?”
“I don’t know if it’s the porch thing or what, but yeah. Last night, my son asked me to throw the ball around after dinner. Normally I’d say I’m too tired, but I said yes. And you know what? I actually had fun. I wasn’t thinking about work or bills or whatever. I was just… there.”
What changed for Jason wasn’t his circumstances. It was his brain chemistry. Those five minutes of intentional presence spread throughout his day had begun to restore the neural pathways to his prefrontal cortex: the part of his brain capable of connection, perspective, and joy. The lights were coming back on in the upper rooms of his mansion.
The Three States Your Body Speaks (And Why One Practice Doesn’t Fit All)
Before we dive into specific soul renewal practices, there’s something crucial you need to understand about your body. It speaks three distinct languages of distress, and each requires a different response.
Dr. Stephen Porges’ groundbreaking Polyvagal Theory revealed that our nervous system operates in three primary states, each with its own neurochemical signature and behavioral expression:
Ventral Vagal State — This is your “green zone,” where you feel safe, connected, and engaged. Your breathing is deep, your heart rate is variable (that’s good!), your face is expressive, and you can access creativity, compassion, and clear thinking. This is where soul renewal maintains what’s already working well.
Sympathetic State — When you feel anxious, irritable, overwhelmed, or constantly “on,” you’ve moved into sympathetic activation. Your muscles tense, your breathing becomes shallow, and your thoughts race. Your body is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, preparing you to fight or flee. Soul renewal in this state needs to calm and soothe your overstimulated system.
Dorsal Vagal State — When you feel numb, foggy, exhausted, or disconnected, your body has moved into a conservation state. Your energy drops, your voice may flatten, and even thinking can feel like pushing through mud. Soul renewal here needs to gently activate and enliven your collapsed system.
I learned the importance of matching practices to states through painful personal experience. During a particularly stressful season, I kept trying to “fix” my anxiety with intense cardio workouts because that’s what all the wellness experts recommended. But I’d finish each session feeling more wired, more irritable and sometimes even with heart palpitations.
What I didn’t understand was that high-intensity exercise was keeping me stuck in sympathetic overdrive. My system needed calming, not more activation. When I finally switched to gentle walking, reading poetry by the fireplace, and slow yoga style classes that I enjoyed, the difference was immediate and profound. My body literally exhaled with relief.
Alternatively, when I’m in a dorsal vagal shutdown (those days when getting off the couch feels impossible and even my favorite activities seem pointless) attempting gentle meditation often pushes me deeper into collapse. What helps is something mildly activating: upbeat music, a cooler shower, or gentle bouncing on a trampoline. Just enough to spark energy without overwhelming my system.
Learning to recognize your nervous system state, and which practices help you shift states, isn’t just helpful; it’s revolutionary. It’s the difference between randomly trying self-care activities and strategically choosing what your unique nervous system needs in this moment.
Dani, a naturally sensitive client who had tried everything to manage her anxiety, put it perfectly: “Understanding these three states changed everything. I used to beat myself up when meditation didn’t work for me during panic attacks. Now I know my system needs movement first, then stillness. It’s like finally learning to speak my body’s language.”
The Doorway: One Question That Changes Everything
If I could give you just one soul renewal practice…one key that unlocks all the others, it would be this: the sacred question that opens the door to authentic soul renewal.
“What am I feeling right now? And what do I need?”
This simple inquiry, practiced consistently, has transformed more lives in my coaching practice than any other intervention. It honors our design as mere mortals and emotional beings with legitimate needs and creates space for authentic connection with ourselves, others, and God.
Kate, a mother of three teenagers in our JoyPath group, laughed out loud when I first suggested this practice. “I don’t have time to feel anything,” she said, her eyes simultaneously exhausted and defiant. “And what I need doesn’t matter, because my family needs me to keep all the balls in the air.”
Many heads nodded around our circle. This sentiment that our needs don’t matter, or that meeting them would somehow be selfish. This runs deep in our culture, especially for women. But what if the exact opposite is true? What if attending to our needs is the prerequisite for truly being present for others?
I invited Kate to try a small experiment: three times each day, to place a hand on her heart and ask herself, “What am I feeling right now?” without trying to change or judge whatever arose. Just thirty seconds of honest inner listening.
Two weeks later, Kate arrived at our group with an unsettling discovery. “I had no idea how angry I was,” she admitted, her voice quivering slightly. “Not just irritated. Really, deeply angry. At everyone. All the time. I’ve been pushing it down for so long I didn’t even recognize it anymore. But it’s there, right below the surface, ready to explode over the smallest things.”
As Kate continued this practice, she began noticing patterns. Her angry part often masked fear or sadness. And beneath those emotions were legitimate needs: for rest, for acknowledgment, for purpose beyond mothering. Not selfish demands, but essential requirements for her soul’s wellbeing.
“What might you need when you notice that anger arising?” I gently asked.
Kate thought for a moment. “Space,” she said finally. “Just a few minutes to breathe before I respond.”
“And how might you create that space for yourself?”
A small smile formed. “I could step outside. There’s a big oak tree in our backyard that I’ve always loved looking at.”
This might sound trivial to step outside to look at a tree when you’re feeling triggered. But the following week, Kate shared a breakthrough moment that illustrated just how profound this simple practice can be.
“My husband asked his usual ‘How was your day?’ at dinner, and instead of my automatic ‘Fine,’ I heard myself say, ‘I’m feeling a little sad today, and I think I need some quiet time after dinner.’ I almost clapped my hand over my mouth; I never talk like that!”
Her husband’s response? “He just nodded and said he’d handle the dishes. Later, he sat with me on the porch swing, not talking, just being there. It was… healing, somehow.”
This is the paradox of authentic needs: when we name them honestly, without manipulation or martyrdom, we create the possibility for genuine connection. Not because others perfectly meet our needs, though they might surprise us, but because we’re showing up as real, with clear boundaries and genuine desires. We become knowable.
The Memory Miracle: How Your Past Can Save Your Present
Imagine having access to a library of joy: moments when you felt completely alive, at peace, or deeply connected, and that you could revisit anytime stress, disconnection, or depletion threaten to overwhelm you.
This isn’t fantasy; it’s neuroscience. And it’s one of the most powerful soul renewal practices I’ve discovered.
When we vividly recall positive memories, engaging all our senses in the remembering, our brains often activate the same neural networks that were firing during the original experience. Dr. Rick Hanson, neuropsychologist and author of “Hardwiring Happiness,” explains that this creates a virtuous cycle: the more you activate and re-experience positive memories, the stronger those neural pathways become, making them more accessible in the future.
I call these “appreciation memories,” and they’ve become a lifeline for me in challenging moments.
I discovered their power during a particularly dark season. My husband was traveling extensively for work, our children were struggling with transitions at school, and I felt myself slipping into resentment and depletion. One evening, collapsing onto our deck chair in exhaustion, my eyes fell on the trees and I though of the pear tree in our neighbor’s backyard. Suddenly, a memory surfaced with unexpected clarity: my daughter and I picking pears the previous fall, juice running down our chins as we sampled them right there under the branches, laughing at our sticky fingers.
As I allowed myself to fully inhabit this memory, not just thinking about it but really experiencing it again, something shifted. My breathing deepened. The tension in my shoulders released. A smile found its way to my lips. For those few minutes, I was restored by the simple act of appreciating that perfect moment.
This discovery became an intentional practice that I’ve since shared with clients. Here’s how you might begin:
- Collect your joy – Set aside 5-15 minutes with a journal. List moments from your life where you felt most alive, connected, or peaceful. They might be milestone events or seemingly insignificant encounters. Let them bubble up naturally.
- Develop one memory – Choose one that feels particularly nourishing right now. Write about it in vivid sensory detail. What did you see, hear, smell, taste, feel? What emotions were present? Who was with you? What made this moment special?
- Create a touchstone – Find a small object, word, or image, or create a title that can quickly access this memory. Something you can keep with you or encounter regularly.
- Practice intentional recall — When you notice depletion or disconnection setting in, pause for just 60 seconds to fully recall this appreciation memory. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and allow yourself to be transported back, engaging all your senses.
Some enjoy dipping back into their past memories and their appreciation memories are deep and elaborate, while others focus on recent experiences that bring joy. And some love prompts!
1. The warmth of sunlight streaming through a window
2. The sound of rain pattering on the roof
3. A surprise phone call from an old friend
4. The smell of fresh bread baking
5. Finding a handwritten note in an old book
6. The feeling of clean sheets on freshly made bed
7. A child’s genuine laughter echoing nearby
8. The first sip of morning coffee or tea
9. Discovering a new favorite song
10. The comfort of a well-worn sweater
11. Watching clouds drift across the sky
12. The satisfaction of completing a puzzle
13. A dog’s excited greeting when you come home
14. The quiet moments before the world wakes up
15. Finding the perfect parking spot
16. A spontaneous dance in the kitchen
17. The smell of rain on dry earth
18. Watching someone open a gift you chose for them
19. The feeling of sand between your toes
20. A genuine compliment from a stranger
21. The sound of pages turning in a good book
22. Catching a familiar scent that brings back happy memories
23. The satisfaction of a clean, organized space
24. A perfectly ripe piece of fruit
25. The sound of children playing in the distance
26. Finding money in an old jacket pocket
27. A cat purring contentedly on your lap
28. The golden hour light before sunset
29. Successfully growing something from seed
30. The feeling of accomplishment after exercise
31. A handmade gift from someone you love
32. The sound of waves lapping against the shore
33. A surprise rainbow after a storm
34. The comfort of a favorite restaurant meal
35. Watching someone master a new skill
36. The smell of wood smoke from a fireplace
37. Finding a four-leaf clover
38. The satisfaction of fixing something that was broken
39. A baby’s tiny fingers wrapped around yours
40. The peace of an empty house
41. A perfectly timed green light
42. The feeling of cool grass under bare feet
43. An unexpected act of kindness from a stranger
44. The sound of wind chimes in a gentle breeze
45. Successfully parallel parking on the first try
46. The warmth of a hug when you need it most
47. A beautiful photograph that captures a moment perfectly
48. The satisfaction of a job well done
49. The sound of your favorite person’s voice
50. Finding a comfortable position to fall asleep
51. The smell of pine trees in the forest
52. A surprise visit from someone you’ve missed
53. The feeling of cool air on a hot day
54. Successfully untangling a knot
55. A perfectly brewed cup of tea
56. The sound of favorite music playing unexpectedly
57. Watching the moon rise over the horizon
58. The satisfaction of a good stretch
59. A handwritten thank-you note
60. The feeling of crisp autumn air filling your lungs
61. Discovering a new shortcut that saves time
62. The warmth of sitting by a campfire
63. A genuine smile from someone having a tough day
64. The sound of your own heartbeat during quiet moments
65. Finding exactly what you were looking for
66. The feeling of being truly understood
67. A moment of perfect silence
68. The satisfaction of making someone laugh
69. The comfort of a familiar routine
70. This very moment of reading and reflecting
James, one of the quieter participants in our JoyPath group, initially dismissed this practice as “touchy-feely nonsense.” But something about it must have resonated, because the following week he arrived with an unexpected story.
“I’ve been carrying this in my wallet for fifteen years,” he said, carefully removing a worn photograph of himself holding his newborn son. “But I haven’t really looked at it in ages.”
His voice softened. “Last night, I was getting frustrated with him about decisions he is making in his adult life you know, the stuff that if I bring it up, our relationship suffers. I felt that tightness in my chest, that moment right before you say something you’ll regret. But then I remembered what you said about appreciation memories.”
James gently touched the photo. “I took a breath and really remembered that day. How tiny he was. How his whole body fit in my hands. The way he stopped crying when I started talking to him.” His eyes grew moist. “And suddenly, the “huge” problem didn’t seem like such a big deal. I could see my son again, not just the problem.”
This is the remarkable power of appreciation memories. They don’t just make us feel momentarily better; they literally restore our capacity to see clearly, connect authentically, and respond wisely. They help us return to our true selves when life has pulled us away.
The Quieting Revolution: How to Return When You’ve Left Yourself
Have you ever had this experience? You’re in a heated conversation with someone you love. Words are flying, emotions escalating. Suddenly, you hear yourself saying things you don’t mean, in a tone you barely recognize. It’s as if someone else has hijacked your mouth. You took the bait hook, line, and sinker. Later, you wonder: “Where did I go in that moment?”
This phenomenon, what I call “leaving ourselves”, happens to all of us. We get triggered into stress responses that bypass our prefrontal cortex (the home of rational thinking and compassionate response) and catapult us into primal reaction patterns: attacking, defending, or shutting down.
The good news? We can learn to come back home, even in the most challenging moments. Soul renewal keeps us in a relational state where we can more easily calm from big emotions, resist being baited, and act like our true selves.
One of the most powerful soul renewal practices I’ve discovered to quickly reset from overwhelm is “quieting”: the gentle art of returning to relational connection when stress has disconnected us. Unlike simple relaxation techniques, quieting specifically focuses on restoring our ability to be in healthy relationship with ourselves, others, and God.
I remember the night I first experienced true quieting. My husband and I had slipped into one of those tense non-arguments: the kind where no harsh words are exchanged but the air feels thick with unspoken frustration. In the past, I would have either pushed for a resolution (usually making things worse) or withdrawn in hurt silence (creating even more distance).
But this time, something different happened. I noticed the tightness in my chest, the defensive thoughts racing through my mind, and simply whispered to myself: “I need a moment.”
I walked to our bedroom, closed the door, and did something I hadn’t done since childhood: lay down on the floor. Feeling the solid ground beneath me, I placed one hand on my heart and simply breathed. I felt the carpet against my back. I watched the ceiling fan make slow circles above me. I allowed myself to feel my frustration without trying to fix it or push it away.
Gradually, something shifted. My breathing deepened. The tightness in my chest softened. I began to feel curious rather than defensive. When I returned to the living room twenty minutes later, I was able to listen to my husband with new ears. Not because I’d figured out the “right” thing to say, but because I’d returned to myself.
The Life Model, a framework for emotional and relational health, teaches that quieting involves four key elements:
- Recognition – Noticing when you’ve been triggered into a stress response
- Return to relationship – Turning toward a sense of secure connection (with yourself, a trusted person, or God)
- Rhythm and regulation – Using rhythmic activities to restore your inner balance
- Rejoicing – Finding your way back to the joy of soul-renewal through appreciation and gratitude
This practice beautifully complements the Gentle Protector skill of “letting go to empower.” When we quiet ourselves instead of trying to control others, we create space for authentic connection to flourish. When we treat ourselves with gentle care, we show those around us how to treat us too.
As Teresa, one of our most transformed JoyPath participants, put it: “The biggest revelation for me was realizing that walking away to quiet myself isn’t abandonment or avoidance; it’s actually the most loving thing I can do when I’m triggered. I used to think I had to stay and ‘work it out’ even when I was melting down. Now I understand that coming back to myself first means I actually have something genuine to offer when I return to the conversation.”
Your Personal Soul Renewal Menu: Finding What Lights You Up
Now that we’ve explored several powerful renewal practices, the sacred question, appreciation memories, and quieting, how might you begin creating your personalized approach to soul renewal?
I invite you to create what I call a “Soul Renewal Menu”: a collection of practices that help you return to your true self in different emotional states. Think of it as your personal first aid kit for the soul, ready when you need it most.
The beauty of a personal menu is that it honors your unique wiring. What replenishes one person might actually deplete another. The practice that energizes you might calm someone else. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to soul renewal.
In our JoyPath groups, I love witnessing the moment when someone discovers a practice that resonates deeply with their unique design. Like Elena, who realized that painting—something she hadn’t done since childhood—brought her back to herself in a way nothing else could. Or Marcus, who found that splitting firewood created a rhythmic, meditative state that restored him after challenging interactions at work.
Hannah, a participant in our Tuesday group, created her soul renewal menu as a simple note on her phone. “Having this ready-made list is like having a first aid kit,” she told us, eyes bright. “When I’m dysregulated, my brain literally can’t remember what helps. Having this menu means I don’t have to figure it out in the moment.”
Your menu might include different practices for different needs:
- What energizes you when you feel shut down, disconnected, or numb?
- What calms you when you feel anxious, irritable, or overwhelmed?
- What nourishes you when you’re in a good place and want to maintain connection?
To help you begin exploring, here are some practices that many in our JoyPath community have found helpful, organized by how much time they require. Consider these as possibilities to spark your own exploration—a buffet of options to sample as you discover what uniquely nourishes your spirit.
5-Minute Soul Renewal Possibilities
When You Feel Shut Down or Numb:
- Dance to one upbeat song in your kitchen
- Step outside and feel the sun, wind, or rain on your skin
- Apply scented lotion slowly and mindfully
- Take 10 deep breaths while shaking out your limbs
- Call a friend who makes you laugh
When You Feel Anxious or Overwhelmed:
- Place one hand on your heart and breathe deeply
- Close your eyes and count 5 things you can hear
- Practice a gentle half-smile while breathing slowly
- Write down three things you’re grateful for
- Drink a full glass of water very slowly
When You Feel Good and Want to Maintain or Deepen That State:
- Write down a moment of joy from your day
- Text a short appreciation to someone you love
- Whisper a thank-you prayer to God
- Breathe in beauty—really look at something lovely
- Savor one bite of food with complete attention
As you read through these possibilities, notice which ones stir something in you. What activities make you think, “I’d like to try that” or “I miss doing that”? Your body’s response—that little flutter of interest or longing—is wisdom speaking. Listen to it.
The only true measure of a soul renewal practice is what actually works for your beautiful, one-of-a-kind brain and soul. What lights you up from the inside? What helps you feel like yourself again?
The Divine Dance: Inviting God Into Your Renewal
What transforms these soul renewal practices from mere self-care into profound spiritual formation is the invitation for God to join us in the process. As Isaiah 30:15 reminds us, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” Our soul renewal becomes a sacred meeting place with the Divine. Perhaps it is in the we humble acknowledging of ourselves as mere mortals that need rest and renewal in our finite state that open us uniquely to connecting with our infinite creator.
Emma’s breakthrough came during a guided practice where she imagined Jesus sitting with her in her shutdown state. “I expected him to be disappointed in me for not doing better,” she shared through tears. “But when I really listened, all I heard was his gentle voice saying, ‘I’m so glad you’re resting. I’ve been waiting to sit with you.'”
A month later, Emma floated into our session with her eyes shining. “You won’t believe what happened yesterday,” she bubbled. “I was feeling that familiar heaviness starting to creep in, so I took a walk by the lake. I found this perfect rock to sit on, and I just watched the water sparkling in the sunlight. Then I remembered to invite Jesus to sit with me, and…” she paused, searching for words. “It’s hard to describe, but there was this moment where the beauty of the lake and the warmth of the sun and this sense of being completely loved all merged together. I started to laugh, actually laugh out loud, with this surge of joy I haven’t felt in years. An elderly couple walking by smiled at me like I was slightly crazy, but I didn’t even care. I felt like I was experiencing what Jesus meant when he talked about abundant life.”
Some meaningful ways to invite God into your soul renewal:
- Begin with awareness of His presence. Before starting your chosen activity, take a moment to acknowledge that God is already present with you, delighting in your return to yourself. As Zephaniah 3:17 tells us, “He will rejoice over you with gladness…He will rejoice over you with singing.”
- Meditate on Appreciation. Allow yourself to recall an appreciation memory, letting it come alive in all your senses then, acknowledging that this time of peace was a gift from the Lord, that Him for the appreciation memory. “Enter(ing) into his gates with Thanksgiving.”
- Share your feelings honestly. Just as you would with a trusted friend, tell Him how you’re really doing even the unfiltered truth of your emotional state. The Psalms give us beautiful permission for this raw honesty.
- Ask the revealing question. “Lord, what do you want me to understand about how I’m feeling right now?” This question opens space for His gentle insight.
- Listen with openness. As you engage in your soul renewal practice, maintain a posture of receptivity to whatever He might want to show you. “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) is an invitation to this receptive listening. Notice anything that comes into your awareness.
- Express gratitude for the renewal. Thank Him for the gift of returning to yourself, for His design of your nervous system, and for His presence in the process. Gratitude actually enhances the benefits of soul renewal by activating your brain’s reward pathways. It is amazing how He designed us!
Your Three Non-Negotiables: The Daily Practice That Changes Everything
Soul renewal isn’t a luxury; it’s the essential foundation that allows us to show up as our truest, most loving selves in our relationships. It’s what makes “letting go to empower” possible. It’s what transforms us from controllers into “portals of love” in our homes and communities.
As neuroscientist Dr. Dan Siegel reminds us, our brains are constantly being shaped by our experiences. The concept of “neurons that fire together, wire together” means that each time you practice soul renewal, you’re literally creating and strengthening neural pathways that make returning to your centered self easier next time.
This means that soul renewal isn’t just a momentary reprieve; it’s a progressive training of your brain’s regulatory systems. Over time, your window of tolerance widens; you can handle more stress before becoming dysregulated, and you can return to balance more quickly when you do get knocked off center.
As we close, I’d like to invite you into a new rhythm of soul renewal, which is one that becomes as natural as breathing. Regardless of what you notice in yourself, it’s a good rule of thumb to always incorporate at least three soul renewal practices each day. These might be as brief as five minutes or as luxurious as an hour, but make them non-negotiable: like morning, midday, and evening vitamins for your soul. And on particularly intense days? Add even more of these small pauses to restore and recenter.
And don’t forget the profound gift of quieting—that intentional practice of returning to relationship when stress has disconnected you. Making quieting a regular practice, especially before challenging conversations or decisions, creates space for wisdom to emerge and relationships to deepen.
Here’s a simple three-step commitment to beginning your own soul renewal journey this week:
- Awareness: For the next three days, simply notice when you feel depleted or disconnected. What signals is your body sending? What emotions arise? What thought patterns emerge? Don’t try to fix anything—just notice with compassion.
- Exploration: Consider which soul renewal practices might resonate with your unique wiring. What activities have brought you peace, joy, or energy in the past? What new practices feel inviting? Choose three different ones to experiment with over the next three days.
- Integration: At the end of the three days, reflect on your experience. What did you discover about yourself? Which practices might you want to incorporate into your daily rhythm? How might you make soul renewal a sustainable habit rather than an occasional emergency response?
Remember, this journey isn’t about perfection; it’s about coming home to yourself, again and again, with compassion and curiosity. It’s about creating space to become who you truly are, so you can offer your genuine presence to those you love.
I’ll leave you with the words of my client Melissa, “I thought soul renewal would make me more distant from my family, like I was choosing myself over them. What I’ve discovered is exactly the opposite. The more I come home to myself, the more fully I can be present with them. I’m not constantly seeking their approval or managing their emotions. I’m just… me. And weirdly, they seem to like that person a lot more than the exhausted shell I was before.”
What single step toward soul renewal might you take today? Your truest self, and those who love you, will be grateful that you did.
Written with love and hope for your journey,
Joanna
Ready to explore how these tools of love can transform your relationships?
These practices and much more form the core of what JoyPath offers. They’re not just techniques; they’re a way of seeing and being that transforms every relationship it touches.
Explore JoyPath services to learn more about practicing the many dimensions of soul renewal for transformation.
*Note: All client stories have been lovingly altered to protect privacy while preserving the heart of each transformation journey.
References
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Davidson, R. J., & Lutz, A. (2008). Buddha’s brain: Neuroplasticity and meditation. IEEE Signal Processing Magazine, 25(6), 176-188. https://doi.org/10.1109/MSP.2008.4408445
Friesen, J. G., Wilder, E. J., Bierling, A. M., Koepcke, R., & Poole, M. (1999). The life model: Living from the heart Jesus gave you. Shepherd’s House.
Hanson, R. (2013). Hardwiring happiness: The new brain science of contentment, calm, and confidence. Harmony Books.
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Siegel, D. J. (2007). The mindful brain: Reflection and attunement in the cultivation of well-being. W. W. Norton & Company.
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