Note: All client stories have been heavily altered to protect confidentiality while preserving the essential teaching points.
Embracing Gratitude
“If it bleeds, it reads.” This phrase captures our culture’s obsession with negativity, where headlines scream about conflict, scarcity, and fear. We are constantly bombarded by messages emphasizing what’s wrong in the world—economic downturns, personal struggles, and global crises—creating a perpetual cycle of anxiety and despair. But what if we could shift our perspective from this fear-driven mindset to one of gratitude and appreciation?
Gratitude is not just a fleeting emotion; it is a powerful skill that can reshape our lives. This article will explore the JoyPath Gentle Protector Skill known as “Transform with Appreciation,” which invites us to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and ultimately liberate ourselves from fear while fostering a sense of abundance.
The Fear of Scarcity
Consider the story of Steven, a client who felt overwhelmed by the pressures of his job and family responsibilities. Every day he was consumed by thoughts of what he didn’t have—more time, more energy, more recognition. This fear manifested itself physically; he often experienced tension headaches and fatigue, feeling trapped in a dark tunnel with no light.
During a coaching session, Steven learned about the practice of gratitude. He began a daily ritual of writing down three things he was grateful for each morning. At first, it felt forced and he struggled to shift his mindset. But over time, Steven noticed a profound change. As he began to appreciate small joys—like his morning coffee or the laughter of his children—he felt his body respond positively. The tension in his shoulders eased, his headaches lessened, and his outlook became brighter. Steven realized that gratitude was not just an idea; it was a powerful tool that transformed his emotional and physical well-being.
The Neuroscience of Gratitude
Understanding how gratitude affects our brain helps illuminate its transformative power. The amygdala, often referred to as the brain’s fear center, is hardwired to notice threats and negativity. This survival mechanism leads us to focus on what’s wrong, making it difficult to see the positives in our lives. Dr. Rick Hanson aptly states, “The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” This means that unless we actively engage with positive experiences, they tend to slip away.
Research by Dr. James Doty reveals that gratitude activates the brain’s reward pathways, releasing neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, which are essential for our happiness and well-being (Doty, 2016). Dr. Alan Shore emphasizes that gratitude helps engage the right prefrontal cortex, responsible for higher-order functions like planning, emotional regulation, and social interactions (Shore, 2017). By nurturing gratitude, we can lift ourselves from a fear-driven state to a more open, curious, and relational mindset.
The Transformative Power of Appreciation
Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you”; it involves a deeper appreciation for life and relationships. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, states, “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. It brings forth more health than any other emotion we can have.” This underscores the emotional and physical benefits of appreciating our circumstances and connections.
For example, another client, Mandy, shared how practicing gratitude transformed her relationship with her partner. Initially, they often took each other for granted, leading to misunderstandings and resentment. After implementing a practice of expressing appreciation for her partner’s efforts—like cooking dinner or offering support—she noticed a remarkable change. And her partner began to mirror her and expressing gratitude as well. Simple acts of gratitude rekindled their connection. Mandy remarked, “Initially, I was resentful that I was the one to start first, since he wasn’t open to changing. But by experimenting with this skill, I started to see him differently. All I could see were his faults before, but now, I have started seeing all of the things I had always loved about him but had lost sight of. I became a spouse-mirror—he started to practice appreciating me, too! It was like turning on a light in a dark room. Suddenly, we were present with each other again. I changed the culture of my marriage by experimenting with appreciation.”
Practical Steps: Transform with Appreciation
To harness the transformative power of gratitude, consider experimenting with shifting towards your true self through incorporating these practices into your daily routine.
1. The Practice of “Stop, Drop, and Do 10 Gratitudes”:
One powerful technique to shift from feelings of disgust or frustration to a mindset of abundance is the practice of “stop, drop, and do 10 gratitudes.” When you find yourself overwhelmed by negative emotions, take a moment to pause. Stop what you’re doing, drop the negative thoughts, and take a deep breath. Then, challenge yourself to list ten things you are grateful for in that moment. This could be anything from the warmth of the sun on your skin to the support of a loved one. By consciously focusing on gratitude, you actively engage your brain’s reward pathways, lifting you from the lower, fear-driven levels of your brain to the higher, more rational functions of the prefrontal cortex. This practice helps to rewire your response to discomfort, transforming feelings of scarcity into a sense of abundance. It empowers you to reclaim your emotional state and reminds you of the richness in your life, allowing you to approach challenges with renewed clarity and positivity.
2. Daily Gratitude Journaling:
Take a few moments each day to write down three things you are grateful for. After compiling your list, pause to reflect on it. Allow yourself to fully experience the emotions and physical sensations that these good things evoke. Let the warmth of gratitude sink in and resonate within you. This simple practice shifts your focus toward positivity and abundance, helping you recognize the many blessings in your life. As you engage with what you appreciate, you’ll likely notice a boost in your mood and energy levels, creating a more uplifting and fulfilling day.
3. Verbalize Your Appreciation:
Make it a habit to express gratitude to those around you. A heartfelt “thank you” or a note of appreciation can significantly strengthen your connections. One client found that a simple thank-you note to a colleague transformed their working relationship.
4. Focused Reflection:
Take time to reflect on moments that brought you joy. This could be savoring a delicious meal, enjoying a warm cup of tea, laughing with family, or enjoying a walk in nature. Allowing yourself to savor the details of how you felt in your body and the emotions experienced awakens the prefrontal cortex where we feel curious, open, kind, and relational. Recognizing these experiences deepens your capacity for gratitude and enhances your ability to feel joy, recover from negative emotions, and stay connected to God and others.
5. Celebrate Small Wins:
Acknowledge your achievements, regardless of how small they may seem. This practice cultivates self-appreciation and fosters a positive mindset, helping you shift out of the fear center of the brain into higher brain functioning. For instance, Jenna began celebrating her small wins in how she showed up in her relationship with her husband, which increased her sense of empowerment, grew her confidence, and brought her a sense of peace.
The Ripple Effect of Gratitude
Gratitude is contagious. When we express appreciation, we inspire others to do the same. This collective shift creates a supportive environment, whether at home, in our communities, or in our workplaces. One client recounted how his practice of gratitude transformed his office culture. By openly appreciating his colleagues, he noticed a significant increase in team morale and collaboration.
Moreover, gratitude fosters resilience. In challenging times, recalling our blessings can provide comfort and strength. As C.S. Lewis wisely noted, “Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead.” By grounding ourselves in gratitude, we create a more balanced perspective.
Biblical Principles of Gratitude
The power of gratitude resonates with timeless wisdom. The encouragement to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) reminds us that gratitude is not merely a reaction to good times but a way of life. This perspective allows us to find meaning even amid difficulties. Similarly, Philippians 4:6-7 teaches us to present our requests to God with thanksgiving, highlighting the profound spiritual nature of appreciation.
The verse that invites us to “enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise” (Psalm 100:4) beautifully illustrates the transformative power of gratitude. Thanksgiving is the passcode to entering His gates! By consciously choosing to express our thankfulness, we deepen our connections not only with others but also with the Divine. Entering “His courts” signifies approaching a sacred space—a realm of worship and reflection where our gratitude serves as the key to His presence. This sacred invitation encourages us to celebrate the goodness that surrounds us, grounding us in a posture of thankfulness that transforms our perspective and elevates our spirits. It uniquely transports us into a profound spiritual connection with our Father. Let us wholeheartedly embrace the Psalmist’s call to approach each day—and every moment—with a heart filled with appreciation, preparing us to fully experience His presence.
These principles inspire us to cultivate a heart of gratitude, recognizing the abundance around us. While appreciating small blessings—like a kind word from a friend or a beautiful sunset—trains us to see goodness, even amidst challenging moments, it also prepares us for the presence of our Divine Father.
Conclusion: The Path to Empowerment
Embracing gratitude and the skill of “Transform with Appreciation” is more than a personal journey; it is a communal act that enriches our lives and the lives of those around us. This Gentle Protector Skill is one of JoyPath’s Six Gentle Protector Skills, which help us cultivate emotional resilience and navigate life with grace and strength.
When practiced together, these six skills lead to empowerment, hope, and freedom from fear, allowing us to live as our true selves. As we step into each day, let us remember the importance of gratitude. By nurturing an attitude of appreciation, we enhance our joy and emotional resilience and contribute to a more vibrant, connected, and compassionate world. Together, let’s create a life filled with joy, connection, and purpose.
References
Doty, J. R. (2016). Into the magic shop: A neurosurgeon’s quest to put together body and mind, the art of healing. Penguin Random House.
Emmons, R. (2007). Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Hanson, R. (n.d.). The Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom. New Harbinger Publications.
Shore, A. (2017). The neuroscience of the human experience: Healing trauma and the brain. Routledge.
The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Biblica.
Wilder, J. (2018). The life model: Living in grace, a guide to the life model. Life Model Works.